Hatred.......

Yesterday when I was really pissed on someone being a female I craved for some empathy…so phoned dad and bluntly blurted out my hatred .

His suggestion startled me a little…:) he said “ do not hate anyone as everyone has the potential of being good “.

What he said stuck me hard and I thought there have been quite a few time when people who were tagged as bad have been great to me. And offcourse some people who are tagged as very good have unexpectedly back stabbed me. Actually to be honest even I was not able to be consistently good to all people I know or met, even if unintentionally but I have been bad at times.

I believe none of us are perfect and we the imperfect people create this may be not so perfect but fantastic world :) And would any one of us will like to be hated? I guess-“ no !!” . Then why should we hate anyone. Shouldn’t all of us look beyond imperfection of each other and have neutral feeling if we can’t like/love anyone? Does ever hatred give birth to constructive dissatisfaction?

A Unexpected Blast I had on Diwali - 17th OCT 2009

This year Durga puja was awesome. I went home just for 4 days but had super saturated fun but same time knew Diwali won’t be even diluted fun ; it will just be another day and I might have to work like last year.. But fortunately I had a holiday this year but again unfortunately no special plan.

I went out for a casual lunch with Nivi and couple of newly made friends for discussing few points on an upcoming trip and expected to return home by afternoon. I was feeling claustrophobic thinking that I have to spend Diwali eve alone but didn’t want to call up anyone and offer bug in their (celebration) program for inclusion of myself.

Post lunch we started loitering around in a shopping mall. To make myself feel better I bought a book for myself by Anita Jain which I have thought of reading few times. Then I cooked up a all alone Diwali plan in mind I though I will buy some candles, decorate home and sit at home and relish reading that book.

But then friends came up with an idea of hitting game arcade. I was damn excited about it and enjoyed shooting some aliens and then basketting basket balls after ages. Then while heading out of the mall I noticed a red pair of silitoes in Soles which I have been searching like crazy for past few months. I couldn’t resist buying it obviously …why should I…:)

It was around 4 in the eve now we got temptation of sipping some coffee so again we drove to a CCD. There Nivi suddenly invited me to accompany her to a friend house where she was going, even that friend insisted the same I could not resist the offer and greedily agreed ….

I returned home from CCD decorated my house a lil with candles …got ready and went to that friend’s house.

His house was decorated with diyas and flowers, I got the Diwali feeling instantly… to add a cherry on the cake we were offered delicious home made food and deserts.. It was awesome fun there …doing silly stuff ….clicking pics …teasing each other …playing games…I felt like being at home with cousins having a gala time far off from the lonely land I expected to be in today ….:)

Doing nothing is pretty difficult....

Newton’s 3^rd law of motion- “to every action there is opposite and equal reaction “- somewhat applies to we homo sapiens as well!!

We human are prone to offer some reaction to every action of life. So, just doing nothing can really get difficult for us!!

If we just imagine ourselves in middle of a vast ocean alone, far off from the shore, won’t the most difficult but sensible thing to do will be doing nothing and float with the wave …… instead of shouting and panicking??

When we get a bad emotional kick, like getting hurt by our loved ones who don’t care much… doing nothing is most sensible thing ..….that way time heals the pain …and ceasing ourselves from displaying impulsive reactions save our dignity and self respect.

There are certain problems for which time is the only solution …..its better not to burn our brain and look for quick solutions to those problems or burn our energy and exhibit impetuous reactions …The best thing is to Do Nothing !!

But then doing nothing can be as difficult as holding breath …though on following it, it pays of well I have seen…..:) !!!

Some Crazy Thoughts........

I wonder why?

Day and night are opposite but why at dawn and dusk they are together ?
Once fulfilled why desires disappear ?
Nothing is permanent, still when it comes to losing why we fear ?
If opposite attracts then why we and our friends are so similar ?
Why we don’t deserve whatever we desire?
Why can’t we rule our life without abiding by rules crafted by others?
Why are we scare of the world although we don’t care?
Why fake fight are fun but true ones leave scars ?
Why can't smiles always outweigh tears?

Fascinated by “ Meera Pandit(Deepika) of Love Ajj Kal “

Meera Pandit’s way of living an unorthodox, carefree life is mesmerizing. Her passion of crazily squeezing out most out of today without giving a damn about tomorrow can be astonishing for all mango people (ordinary people) ,.

She has the courage to fearlessly following her heart at the same time she has the guts to let her love go.

She commits mistakes but she doesn’t live with them forever. She isn’t strong enough to overpower destiny but she decline whatever she doesn’t desire. She believes in not having anything if she doesn’t get what she craves for.

Unlike any silly common woman, she is practical and selfish. But her love toward Jai perished all her selfishness and practicality and made her wait for him without even licensing her feeling to reach his senses.

Celebrated Friendship :)..... (2nd Aug 09)....

I was driven by my curiosity to google the word “Friendship day” - “Friendship Day is celebrated on the 1st Sunday of August , it basically started in 1935 in US and observing the popularity it gained in US many other countries adopted it. The United Nations named Winnie the Pooh as the world's Ambassador of Friendship.

Didn't plan anything special this friendship day because of having too many things on my plate, to be honest I didn't even have in mind this Sunday is the friendship day but thanks to Prapti for scarping me in orkut 'lets meet up this Sunday, its friendship Day'. I made sure to keep this Sunday eve free for her, did not even mind postponing my plan to watch 'Love ajj kaal' though dying to watch it!!

Prapti- I know her since class eleven, we both are crazy and silly in our own ways!! We have had blasts together since school. I remember once we celebrated a valentine day together -eating heart shape pizzas and buying heart shape gifts for ourselves. Oh, we both didn't believe in missing out the fun just because we were not going steady with any guy!! Though we have different ideals, dreams and principle in life but still we have always enjoyed each other's company to the fullest, may be because we always had good opinion about each other’s differences!!

Today my mobile inbox was flooded with friendship day messages, each message was adding a little more smile on my face and I was feeling little more happy as I was replying them one by one, making sure not to miss out a single one. Around mid day I started receiving lot of calls from friends, with some of them I had just fun chat and with some it was pouring out heart felt feelings to each other. One unexpected call was from Ritz, after some 15 years, he was my classmate in 5th standard in Allahabad, after leaving BJS (my school there), I completely lost touch with my friends there, unfortunately internet wasn't this popular that time, but thanks to Orkut and his good memory (for remembering me and sending a friend request).Though I was speaking to this guy after one and half decade, but found him to be the same funny, naughty, mischievous friend. Just before going out of my house I saw Bipasha, my best friend, online, I pinged her but her status changed to offline ..then as I was logging out of messengers to shut down my laptop and leave. One chat window popped up “ Hi !!happy friendship day!! Good you are online can chat “ . Though could chat with her long enough as I had to meet Prapti but that short conversation made a lot of difference!!

I met Prapti near forum at 5:30pm, we couldn’t resist hugging each other and as usual we complimented each other's shoes, dress and hair style. Then we decided to go to Mocca..we got up on an auto from opposite site of forum. We happily agreed to pay 30 bucks to the autowala although the distance would have been worth 14 bucks only. We were in too good a mood to bargain today!!

On reaching Mocca we had to wait for 10 mins. The silly waitress kept on telling us " 2 mins mam" till we went bonkers and blasted at her . I was damn hungry, I was starving since morning because I lacked the enthu to cook after completion of Sunday's special dusting and cleaning. We ended up ordering choco latte , cafe latte, Avalanche , French fries, Cajun Chicken, Chicken Panini, choco father followed by another choco latte & cafe latte,. The waiter was looking amazed at the eating capabilities of we ladies. Even the group of guys sitting behind us had stared at us each time the waiter was delivering our orders but who cares!!

While feasting on the yummy stuffs, we got busy revealing to each other how life is making us happy in someway and screwing us up in another, we had PJ session and then followed some serious RCAs on marriage, work, uncertainty of life, expectations. We were seeking suggestion from each other and offering undiplomatic, honest feedbacks. We were just blurting out whatever came to our mind without a thought!! We were being completely dillogical !! At 8:00PM we left Mocca and headed toward forum again. We did some window shopping there, and it was time to say "good bye" to each other, it was late.

On way back home, I was musing how great it feels -when we can dare to be our imperfect self infront of someone, when we can talk out our mind to someone without taking the pain of processing what we say, when we can confess our mistakes to someone without having the fear of losing the person , when we can trust someone with all our secrets.!! I was thinking how friends rescue me from the claustrophobic feeling which various circumstances of life plant in me again and again ,-" Thanks God for making friends !!"

A Fun Trip on '27th June 09'

That Friday morning I was engrossed in fixing my real player....my phone rang; I noticed Asma’s name flashing on it. I picked up the call and blankly said “Hello didi,wassup?? ” from the other end she responded enthusiastically “we are finally going tomorrow didi, Amarnath had shortlisted some places, you gotta come and finalize “.Her call took away my whole attention from real player and I eagerly waited for the clock to tick to 4:30PM. At 4:20PM I reached office, I turned on my laptop quickly, checked my mails and remedy(thank God there was no new ticket),I rushed to Amarnath’s workstation. Amarnath said he had shortlisted two plans after considering the metrics- distance, food availability and expense of course –it was month end after all. Plan:A- was Sangam & Mekedatu , Plan:B- was Raganathitu bird sanctuary and Manchinbele dam . Plan A didn’t fascinate me as I have already been to sangam so I voted for plan B and so, did Amarnath and Sid, and Asma is too sweet to say no to me ever

My shift was till late night 2:30 that day but my adrenalin level was too high to say no to start off at 7:30AM the next morning. I was all set to leave at 7:30AM but these guys followed Indian standard time and reached 30mins late at my place. I quickly got inside the car. Amarnath was in the driving seat, he was playing some Kumar Sanu’s Bengali Song (rather Sanu da’s song as per Sid). Sid was at his comical best like always, applying sec 377 on me and Asma. In some time his attention got diverted from sec 377 , to the Sanu da’s songs and his hilarious commentary on the Bengali lyrics didn’t take much time to force Amarnath to put on some good hindi songs. By this time we were already some 40kms away from Bangalore . Now little hunger was bothering us. Amarnath parked his black WagonR in front of a south India restaurant. That restaurant had large area on its backward. The special attraction of that place was a old turkey which was loitering around . My silly self didn’t miss the chance to pose with the turkey and made Asma pose too.

From there Amarnath drove to Ranganathittu, bird sanctuary. Its is small island in the bank of river Kauveri. The parking place and the gardens around it was pretty well maintained. After entering the sanctuary we sat near the river chit chatted a little, pulled each other legs, clicked few pics. We were able to see colony of bats though the zoom lens of the camera on far off trees from there. As we marched further in we discovered a small bridge, on looking down from it, into the water, we noticed a huge aquatic snake swallowing a frog, it was like watching animal planet live. Then on further going inside the sanctuary we notice a tree house kind of place, I got the temptation to climb to the top instantly, Asma was putting her best effort to stop me but atlast I won, Sid convinced Asma and we all climbed on it, the multitude of beautiful birds we could see from there was astonishing. We spend some time there. Amarnath was busy shooting the beautiful birds and I captured some stills. Now it was time for row boating, we went into the middle of water, we could see the birds and colony of the bats from unbelievable close quarters now , we saw huge crocodiles basking on the rocks just couple of feet away from our boat. These ferocious creature looked lifeless and didn’t seem to have any intention of attacking. Sid’s metaphor to these crocodiles were our managers who have capabilities but prefer being lazy.

After coming out of the Sanctuary we had a quick lunch and drove toward Manchinbele Dam which is basically a reservoir built across the river Arkavathi. Now it was drizzling a little so Amarnath had to slow down his driving. On the way we passed via Ram Nagar , we saw the huge rocks on which Gabbar sat and yelled at Kalia “kitney admi the re” in Sholey. Before reaching the dam the road for few kms was pathetic and Amarnath had to display his expertise in driving department to take us till the destination. The rain had stopped now. On reaching the place we sensed a tranquil atmosphere. The place had a weird stunning beauty of its own. I captured few still moments in my camera again. Asma and me went and dipped our hand in the water and played for sometime. Then we sat on the grass there and had funny, silly, casual conversation . I felt a child like happiness far off from chaos of daily adult life. Time passed quickly and it was 6:30pm ,time to start our journey to Bangalore.

I reached home at 9:00PM and was expecting some sweet dreams for sure that night. But suddenly I heard my nokia theme alarm ringing loud, I wake up and realized it was Sunday morning, hell lot of house hold work was pending. So, I was compelled to push myself back into orbit of daily routine.

A Midsummer Memory (29/06/08)

On an inactive, lazy Sunday evening , sipping on a hot refreshing cup of coffee when I look back to 29th June 2008 … I can get a glimpse of myself in my blue Jeans and black T-shirt strolling into Kolkata airport with my folks at 5:15 in the morning .Yes, I reached early.. My flight departure was at 6:50 am but unlike always I was pleased about my early arrival this time .. I badly wanted to stay some more time with mom ,dad……I wanted to listen to their never-ending advises “eat on time, sleep on time, no late night computers games, no late night parties……” …Though I knew I wont follow them all…but still I relished giving heed....

This was my first go to a new city alone ……that too not for vacation…I had successfully overcome a giant challenge of convincing my parents to let me head for this trip alone. .True it was not the first time I was moving away from comfort zone of home but Bhuwaneswar was different … dad accompanied me there till I totally got settled . It was little different this time…

I had been fiddling with google map since past few days, trying hard to draw vague sketches of the city in my mind …

My only well known contact here was my friend, Diwakar who was all set to move to Montreal for pursuing MS in few days … On 28th I had text messaged him several times and have pinged him in YM as well to make sure he receive me on time the next day .

Last minute before checking in when I turned back to waive, I could easily notice tears in mom’s eyes ,she was trying her best not to let them escape her eyes….I felt very guilty somewhere for hurting her in order to pursue my dreams…I felt selfish …..but successfully confining my feelings with a big smile I said loud ..without caring about people noticing me “Ma I will be just a call away , it takes only 2:30 hrs to reach there)”. Dad was trying to show he was OK…but I knew how much he will miss going to work with me every morning, snacking our favorites stuffs secretly while returning from work together and pampering me to shop till I drop …

Once the flight took off …..I tired to chill and watch my favorite- Tom and Jerry …but there was 1500 anticipations rushing though my mind …”Will Diwakar be waiting for me when I reach? How office will be ? Will I be lucky enough to get nice colleagues again? How far will be my office from guest house? Will mom be missing me and crying”. …. While I was busy thinking ,time flew off quickly and I reached Bangalore. As soon as I landed here I took no time to switch on my mobile and call Diwakar …he shouted “waiting since 30 mins “….I collected my luggage as quickly as I could and rushed to the exit .

On existing from airport I could instantly feel the pleasant weather, despite having little lingering feeling of tension and a tinge of sorrow I felt extremely satisfied, thrilled and gratified as a new a journey had began and my all time fantasy of being entirely self dependent was materializing.

I start again.....

I have been always passionate about recording my thoughts by grasping them with words and never missed doing so until college got over..

Once work life started …life radically changed …and so did I …

I started believing some IP subnetting practice will help me more than writing my hidden silly thoughts in my leisure time...but somewhere I forget how happy and excited I felt jotting down these silly thoughts and how it had helped me to say goodbye to stress of daily life…….

Now I realize the phenomenon of learning new skills or facing new exciting situation in life shouldn’t stubbornly resist us from perusing our loved activities..

So here I start again....